How can I handle my distrust and jealousy for my partner?

If you and your partner aren’t really the type of people who talk about your emotional issues(which is fine not everybody wants to), then I would take a minute to evaluate how they currently treat you now. A lot of times, jealousy is relative, and if you were a neutral observer of all of your partner’s interactions, you would realize you probably don’t have anything to be jealous of. I realized that once when I was sitting next to my crush, but they were talking to someone two seats down on the opposite side from me, and at first I was jealous of that person two seats down, but then I realized that I wouldn’t want to be two seats down from my crush because I would end up talking to them even less.

I think it goes without saying that if this is your first partner, then it’s normal to be a little worried that they might leave you. It’s your first, and you want it to go well. Here’s the thing though: being a little worried(internally not externally) is sweet, but being overly paranoid is a major turn-off. Partners don’t want to feel like they constantly have to reassure their partner that they won’t leave them.

When it comes down to it, you either tell him how you feel, or you get over it. You have to do one. But it’s your job to fairly decide how much of it is them and how much of it is you, and address the issue in a mature manner.

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There’s not just one surefire way to approach this issue, but I’ll name a few ways off the top of my head.

If they’re not really favoring anyone else more than you, than I would accept that it’s healthy for your partner to have a life outside of you and try to get over it as best you can. I know jealousy isn’t logical, but if you keep being jealous for no reason then it’s going to wreck your guys’ relationship.

If you feel like you can talk to your partner about your feelings and they’ll take what you say seriously, then there’s no reason not to just tell them, ‘sometimes I get jealous and then I feel like I don’t trust you’. Try to make it clear that you’re telling them this because you’re admitting it’s your problem, because anyone is more likely to be compassionate and try to help you if they don’t feel blamed. Also, don’t give them the impression that you’re asking them to change themselves unless what they’re doing is really bad(say vigorously flirting with other people of your gender).

Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun... A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying. One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever.. We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc If u want pics of her text me.

If you think that all humans are greedy and evil, then it may make more sense why your jealous of your partner. It may not necessarily be something they did, but more a result of your outlook on life.

If they actually seem to be treating somebody else more affectionately than they do you, then I would talk to them about it. I would probably just be blunt with ‘Hey, so what’s going on with you and XXXX?’. If they say that they’re just friends and give a pretty specific explanation to why they’re being very friendly to that person, then I would trust them. If they just say ‘We’re just friends’ and tries to change the subject, it’s really your decision on what to do, but at that point I’m playing the Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You card, because if they cheat on you it wouldn’t surprise me.

Evaluate yourself. Have you had trust issues with previous partners? Is this your first partner? What’s your perspective on human kindness? Would you distrust anyone who did what your partner was doing?

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Similar with trust issues with previous partners. It’s more normal to be paranoid, but it’s still undeserved to your partner if they didn’t do anything.